Tuesday, May 7, 2013

I have a total case of the sads today...

...because my daughter didn't want to go to "school" (daycare) today.  Last night before bed she told me she didn't want to go to school tomorrow and asked if she could stay home with me like she did today.  And I felt totally bad because (especially after this weekend) all I wanted to do was be with her 24/7.  Unfortunately I am not in a position to not work...I'm a single mom and at the end of the day, bills have to be paid and food has to be put on the table.  But after seeing her face this morning when I left her at daycare to go to work, I totally want to hit the mega millions or powerball tonight.  She was sooooo sad and she knew I was sad so she left her new baby doll with me, so she could cheer me up. Major tears.  I'm overly emotional but I do wish I could afford to be or were married to be a stay at home mom.  I never, growing up, wanted to have children or be a stay at home mom, but once I had her I realized how hard it is to let go, to have others involved in raising your child.  To have other people influence your child's thoughts, actions, and behavior.  I try not to work any more than I have to so that its not like we never have time together.  And I sacrifice my life, sleep, etc. so that we can share every moment of the day that we can together.  But on days like today, it doesn't seem like enough.  And it makes me sad. So now I'm at work, sad and listening to my earphones so these folks don't bother me too badly.

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